It's been a couple days...

Wow! how time flies even when you live alone. I use to think that when my kids grew up I would have more time in my day. Not always so. Time just has a way of slipping by then one day you turn around and you can't believe how many years have passed. Living alone has it's perks and it's down falls just like everything else in life. We seem to always want what someone else has or we think they have it better. Not true everyone has a story it just doesn't seem like it till you get to know someone or just communicate on the web. Speaking of communication my oldest of children has been with his girlfriend for 6 years now. They have two children (my adorable grandbabies) and live in an apartment. I am happy it's been that long people seem to be just as disposible as anything else in this world today. Its been a tough year for them so far..heck it's been tough for them since they've been living together. Winter was especially difficult with the economy making for less money and working days. Money seems to tear a lot of relationships apart with stress of just living.

Anyway they did there complaining and yelling at each other which is often normal in those situations, but, it's not good for tiny ears to hear. This was the first time since they have been together it looked like everything was going to fall apart. They threatened each other with leaving, did the name calling, I did this you did that. Much like two kids on a playground fighting over who's marble hit who's first. My son called me often during this time and I found myself struggling a few times just to listen, but I did. The one thing I offered him was my ear. I had to remind myself although I was his mother and him my son he was no longer my child. He was his own person now, aloud to make his own mistakes. My role had changed it was now a role of listening and asking key questions to make him think. It's something I do with my children. Instead of preaching (to which they tune you out) I decide to start asking questions about the situations they where in which forced them to find the answers. I also give them options when they can't make choices. It's either this or that you choose... is how I respond. Children tend to process more if they are made to think over telling them or preaching. I really do have good children and that's not being bias it's being honest...all apply what I have taught them. I am blessed truly. It wasn't always this way it took awhile. Common curtosy was the tough getting them to tell me where they were in there day and at night. Oh, yes it wasn't easy you always have one that fights it a tad. But I kept at it telling them it wasn't that I was trying to watch there every move it was about leaving me sit wondering what may or may not have happened. How I would picture the worst and ask them how they would feel if I left them wondering about me. Well, they all learned and applied it by there teenage years. In fact they still do today with there significant others. My oldest is struggling with his girlfriend in this area. He is trying to teach her how important it is and that it's not giving up your freedom it's about not leaving the people you care about worrying. I also worked very hard at not yelling at them if they did something wrong or were somewhere I didn't think they should be. Everything I did landed me children that opened up to me on many levels and that for me was a huge achievement not only has a mother but on a personal level too. No award or any statis in life could ever measure up to that!

So in the end I did my best with my oldest son and his girlfriend. I tried to help keep them together by letting him know life isn't always easy and it's the easy things that truly are not worth having. It was truly a task many times they planned on callling it quits. I made sure I listened closely to hear just where my son's heart truly was...even though he would say he was leaving the minute he knew it was falling apart he would have a change of heart tell me he loved her. That for me was enough to know there children deserved a real chance at having parents who didn't take the easy way out the disposible way. Well good news! They are doing better today some things have changed but they know they have a lot of work to do. They want there children to have both parents not just for the children ( which should always be considered) but for family there own family and that makes me proud too.