A reminder of 2005

It was the year my daughter graduated. How can one explain the joy a child brings to your life. I wouldn't have missed this for anything this world had to offer to stop me. Life seems kinda twisted sometimes. We start out knowing very little and learning as we go. We get to middle age and suddenly things make sense. I hear so many people say, "if I could go back with what I know now I would change certain things" I wouldn't change a thing and trust me I made some banger mistakes. But were all individuals come to this life on different levels. Some more mature than others. I was meant to be taught things that others may have already known. They had there own lessons. It doesn't make me dumb, stupid whatever words you want to choose. It just made my life my own. I wasn't born to be like anyone else. I love learning even if its the smallest thing. In fact my daughter just taught me a few years back how to recognize a mosquito. LOL! It felt great to learn. Not, that I want to smash them as I respect all walks of life. But, when they bite it's a natural reaction. After all it does hurt!


As you can probably can tell I love to laugh. I will sit alone think of something just laugh and when I am done it's feels awesome, so calming. I laugh at sitcom repeats I see a million times(exaggerated) and say out loud thank you. I will put a cd in my dvd player crank up the music and just go crazy. And, of course I talk to everyone. Really people are interesting they are a part of my life I pass them everyday why not say hello and chat. Besides I love to make people smile. By the way (if I am correct) put simple dogs together and they mingle, often play. How often do you see them fight? By the way...it's really okay to wrong or incorrect. It's funny isn't it practically every species will fight for the change to be with the opposite sex. Unlike the black widow who kills her mate or the pray mantes who takes his head off. Wow! Now that's really going out for the opposite sex. Right now I am sitting here being thankful I am a female and laughing again.

So back to my daughter and how twisted life seems to be...here is my theory. I think it's backwards. At the expense of our children, families we start our journey in life confused looking for our place.... only to end up in the same place as everyone else... going into the kitchen and wondering why we are there. I do this often now... I stop say, oh damn, walk back in the living room sit down, then say oh, that's right. Back out I go I get what I wanted... it's all that matters. I just seem to be leaving brain cells everywhere these days and that's okay. How may cells does the brain have anyway? Maybe I better look it up! Maybe I should keep track of how many cells I have left? Im laughing as I type thinking... won't I loose track eventually as they go? Oh...well.

My daughter is just as wonderful as my grandchildren. I remember watching her as she grew up. I remember watching all my children. Oh yeah there were times I'd think... calgon take me away but then they'd do something amazing as a simple new word, bye bye, or fall asleep and I'd stand there just starring. I did that a lot as they grew... I know they didn't notice but they have been told. Children say so much without saying anything at all...just a look, a facial expression, body posture, the songs they choose, the shows that interest them will tell you so much more... then there words will ever say. Not one moment when they walk in my door do I not notice everything about them, it tells me so much.

Now to my point of 2005 I was at the gas station today...I heard these words from a song...the time of your life. It was the song her class picked for there school graduation. I may not be exactly correct, but I heard it and immediately I smiled. These are the moments of the past you hold on too. They are the ones worth keeping and replaying. These are your aw moments. Everytime you say aw it feels wonderful, try it....to watch her graduate see her in her cap and gown was an aw....however her wedding day well you can only imagine...I looked at her hubby to be then watched her dad walk her down the isle and I smiled, cried tears of happiness said to myself I see the beauty of this life before my eyes.

My first Garden! Yeah!

I planted my first garden this year or should I say first full garden. I have grown tomatoes and a few peppers but they where always just in the back yard. This time I have access to a wonderful huge garden. This is not a current picture I will post one later so you can see how it looks now. I can't tell you what gardening truly does for your life. Not only do you get to play in the dirt which brings out the child inside that needs to play to stay active and young at heart. I get to connect with my spirit which keeps me grounded teaches me so much about myself and then I thank god for everything.

Everytime I go out to the garden my first thought I can't wait to see what has changed and then I get to pull weeds. I am an artist so pulling weeds is like painting or sketching a picture. After the weeds are gone walla a masterpiece. LOL....I know the time I spend in the garden is actually time I am spending nurturing my spirit. It's a place that keeps me humble, grounded, reminds me that we share this planet, this earth, with everything, you reading, the trees, insects, animals, water, the sky, the ground, just everything. Often I go outside at night sit on top of my car close my eyes and just listen to the sounds of the night. So much goes on even as we sleep. Then I open my eyes lie down and look at the sky. Even the stars have a place that create a gorgeous and calming picture. How lucky we are to be able to be a part of this masterpiece called life. If only we could all see and understand life go back 100 years and tell them that everything they wanted the future to be...is....I am sure they would be proud, but, sadly that is not the case.

I have seen so many wonderful things and so many sad happen in my lifetime. Between them both well for me has helped mold who I am today. To realize no matter what you accumulate in material things or in money in the end we all wind up just as everything else in life gone. We don't get a season of changes renewel as years go by...just time. I will tell you a little secret of what I do almost everyday...I thank my heart, yes, my own beating heart for taking me through another day and then with my hand on my heart I say to it... I love you.

Before I go back to what I am growing in my garden I'd like to remind you of a song by Ann Murray...words are truly so important...listen they do speak.

I rolled out this morning
Kids had the mornin' news show on
Bryant Gumbel was talkin' 'bout the fighting in Lebanon
Some senator was squawkin' 'bout the bad economy
It's gonna get worse you see, we need a change in policy

There's a local paper rolled up in a rubber band
One more sad story's one more than I can stand
Just once how I'd like to see the headline say
"Not much to print today, can't find nothin' bad to say",
because

Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town
Nobody OD'ed, nobody burned a single buildin' down
Nobody fired a shot in anger, nobody had to die in vain
We sure could use a little good news today

I'll come home this evenin'
I'll bet that the news will be the same
Somebody takes a hostage, somebody steals a plane
How I wanna hear the anchor man talk about a county fair
And how we cleaned up the air,
how everybody learned to care
Whoa, tell me

Nobody was assassinated in the whole Third World today
And in the streets of Ireland, all the children had to do was play
And everybody loves everybody in the good old USA
We sure could use a little good news today

Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town
Nobody OD'ed, nobody burned a single buildin' down
Nobody fired a shot in anger, nobody had to die in vain
We sure could use a little good news today

Please think about these words we all need to find a way to co-exist no matter what color, religion, race, gender, etc....we are all human together.

So...here is what's in my garden, my spirit of course, cucumbers, lettuce, spinach, corn, carrots, green beans, watermelon, cantelope, butternut squash, veggie squash and tomtoes. I wish I could share it all with everyone...I do share it locally with those who need help...God Bless everyone...everywhere...be safe. I love you!

July Fourth Weekend

I had a wonderful weekend. I spent the most part of it in the garden and creating other items knitting, sewing, etc. I mangaged to see a few fireworks, danced in my driveway to the music of Heart (your never too old to dance) and had a blast! I did fit in my 30 minute walk before my own fourth of july evening. But, the ending to a wonderful weekend was the best ever.....I spent it with my grandbabies.

Spending time with Brennan (4) and Owen (18mos.) was so spectacular. Better than any fireworks show. We went to the park across from there home (behind a grade school) while Brennan showed me how well he could swing I sat on a swing with Owen in front on my lap. What a smile as we started to swing. We moved from there to those climbing devices with the slides and tons of other functions. I watched Brennan do them all and praised him. The sun was getting to Brennan's eyes so he ask if I would let him wear my sunglasses. Sure, I said and within seconds he replied Wow grammie I can look at the sun with your glasses Thanks, Grammie.

After awhile Brennan got hot and went to the shaded area yelling grammie come over here no sun. I thought thank God! I am sweating and a hot flash is not helping... so I took Owen by the hand and we headed over to Brennan, he was in a huge area with a hill. I chased them both up and down the hill around the trees, found a golf ball watched Brennan throw it into the pond over the fence. Finally I took of my sandals at the top of the hill started to run towards the boy's with my arms out like an airplane tilting back and forth it was excellerating. I felt like a little girl all over again. The boy's laughed and of course tried the same. Then Brennie decided it was time to lay down on the grass at the top of the hill and roll down. However, he decided he wouldn't do this without grammie participating. I can not tell you how amazing it felt! Although a bit dizzy in the process neither of us could stand right away. Then Owen began walking in last falls leaves listening to the crunch how precious a simple sound, a new sound, a different experience captured his attention. I felt gifted to see such a site. A moment that lite up all my senses.

We ended the evening by going to Burger King watching them play in the playroom through all the tubes. Then it happened Owen found himself at the top inside the tubes and couldn't find his way out. Brennan left him and went on to play. He cried and cried I took off into the tubes started to round one of the corner when I saw his dad's legs heading to the top where I was going next. Hearing a child cry in all those tubes trust me makes it hard to find them it just kept echoing. Of course his dad came out Owen in arms and dad saying I'm getting too old to climb in those things. Okay, he's 28 I am 52 and he thinks he's getting old. You just do what ya have to in a time of crisis. After Burger King we took off to Krogers, a local store, Owen and I waited in the truck then we headed home. I decided to bathe Owen in the sink just a quick dip to get the evening sweat off. Next thing I know I am putting Brennan in other side of the sink. Boy oh Boy! water went everywhere and who cared Nobody it was another gift to be in the presence of such a moment.

I will tell everyone who reads...I am very blessed in so many many ways. But, the greatest blessing of all...I started to focus on my own life by looking inside myself ( no matter what I would fiind) accepting and changing the negatives focusing on my positive qualities, became a spiritual person, accepted and let go of the past... which lead to all the blessings that followed...I opened my eyes to life. A complete life a new awareness of family, friends, and this wonderful earth.
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY to everyone!

Thinking about those darn Gas prices!

Often when I knit (which i love doing) I will hear something cross the news or when I am on the internet I'll read something that just makes me shake my head and wonder what are people thinking are they thinking at all. Plus what is it going to take for us to really do something about the gas prices? When are we really going to stop saying I am just a common person I can't help I'm nobody with no money. Who's going to listen to me?

I read yesterday where a chinese investor paid 2.1 million dollars to eat dinner with jimmy buffet. I just sat there and said WHAT! There are people all over the world starving, people in the United States without healthcare struggling to feed there families and someone pays Jimmy Buffet 2.1 million to have dinner. How on earth does anyone let this happen or for that stand for it. I don't care to hear about things like this what's it purpose to rub it in people's faces. I do believe there are more common people then rich and I also strongly believe Jimmy Buffet wouldn't be where he is without those common people. So where is our cut of the 2.1 million? I certainly don't want to hear it was donated to a worthy cause as those worthy causes only give the rich more tax breaks. A worthy cause to me is taking that money and writing a check to every common person struggling today. Which leads me to this I believe the government is way to involved in our lives and actors, singers, and sports figures are way over paid.

I can remember growing up in a middle class common household in the 50's till the late 70's when I reached my 20's. A time when neighbors got together at some point in the day to say hello and chat. A time if you where new in a neighborhood someone made a dish and welcomed you to there area. A time when neighbors made a point to help each other. I grew up in the last of the best era that makes me happy yet sad at the same time because its over and things have changed people have changed. I had a good childhood strange at times in many ways, always wondering if anyone else was experiencing the same often looking at other kids and homes wishing I lived there, it must have been nicer or happier, so through my eyes it looked and seemed. Everything that wasn't me around me or in our house seemed nicer. I was just too young to realize everything is always the same no matter where you are and situations, problems are just different or more intense. That people with money or no money or maybe just enough money had happiness along with sadness. Neither knows no dollar amount. Money may help in some areas but in others it means nothing. Ask the child who's passing of cancer about his families money I am sure you'll find it worth nothing if it can't save the child's life.

I use to ask myself or say to my friends and family how is this happening why don't people with money help instead of wanting more? Well, as you get older your realize just how it's happening and just where there head sits. You understand why the not so pretty girl has the great looking guy or visa versa. You understand more than you want too. I certainly believe that's why the middle aged and elderly get so plunt and outspoken. They know the world for what it really is...and that makes them angry mislead, and untrusting.

have to close for now will continue later.....