Real and Raw

Hello dear readers, I will be continuing the story tonight with Part 3. Please stop back. In the meantime enjoy your day, Pamela.

Real and Raw - Part 2

Six years later we moved to Florida, yes, my father had decided he wanted to go where the
climate was warm year round. My dad had family in Tampa, Florida so they loaded the old green station wagon and off we went. Mom wasn't too happy about the move but went along with dad anyway.

On our way to Florida my father decided to take a detour through a town called Ozark, Alabama.
The only thing I can remember about the whole trip are two things. Mom was really angry at Dad, I mean really angry we were in Ozark to the point all she did was yell at us for every little thing we did. The other was not staying in Florida more than a week, dad said, "he didn't like the heat after all. "

We ended up back in Ohio moved out in to the country to a little farm house with a garage. My dad took the garage turned it in to a place to raise baby chicks. Oh, they were so cute and oh so noisy. All arrived in little boxes with tiny holes, amazing how many they fit in one small box and more amazed I was when one day, as I stepped outside to see one swinging from a rope. There I was just in time to see dad take a hatched and chop his head off. I stood there in shocked as I watched this poor chicken get up run around the yard, without his head, fall over and just lay there not making a move. As dad picked him up I started to run down a dirt path pass the row of cherry trees.

Rounding the curve to a black family that lived behind our home. The year was 1963 the place I arrived was the usual. A white house with a little green house in the back, a place I would visit often Gracie's place. She never minded that I'd visit a little knock on the screen door I'd walk in sit down in the old worn rocker. It was a safe place for me and Gracie knew if I didn't knock something was wrong.

That particular day as I rounded the corner of the dirt path I was greeted by Amos, Gracie's grandson. Although they were a black family, Gracie and my mom had bonded quickly. Amos, who at the time was 14 years old and I was 8. I played a lot with his sister, Mae who was nearly my age. I didn't mind, I knew nothing of color, to me she was just a friend like any other, in fact, we spent a lot of our time climbing those sweet cherry trees, eating the dare things like they were candy.

I said hi to Amos, and continued my way to Gracie's, Amos continued to walk with me up the porch and in to the little green house. I, taking my place on the rocker suddenly heard the door close. I knew it wasn't Gracie, she never closed her door in sunny, warm months, only at nightfall.

Getting Real and Raw - Part One

Have you ever been ask the question "How far back in your life do you first remember?"

I can remember a little girl walking through a gate, down a sidewalk, out in to the middle of the street seeing something really large moving then knocking her to the ground. A mother running towards the street picking up that little girl, spanking and shaking her to have another women grab the child, "yelling what are you doing?" The little girl remembers being in the E.R. scared, crying with cuts on her knees being gently wiped clean.






For me, this is that little girl, nearly two, the age I remember, the one I can recall first in my mind. I remember that little girl scared, "wondering why is mommy hitting me?" I just feel down after being hit by that big thing. Luckily, the car had just tapped me, knocked me over and stopped. I was told the woman who grabbed me was actually driving the car.

I can picture that house so well in my mind. We only lived there 6 years after I was born, but, there are quite of few memories in that house from that moment on....some good, others well, I only know my grandmother (on my father's side) did NOT like my mother, nor did she like grandma. They were always yelling at each other. I also know grandma was a blast, always dressing up for Halloween, it made mom angry to the point she would kick grandma out of the house.

I don't recall how Dad reacted to Mom kicking grandma out. I don't really remember much of Dad back in those days. Probably due to mom being home all the time. Stay at home mom's where big back in the 50ties.

This my very first experience of finding my way to being happy and content, picking up this picture starring closely at that little girl, wrapping my right hand around the picture and said "It was okay, I understand now why she spanked me, shook me like she did." Even though she never said why, I can see now the look in her eyes in that moment, scared too death of what she would find running out the door. It all made sense. I held that picture looking at that little girl like I had never seen her before, I said, " It's okay, I love you sweet one."

In that moment, I closed my eyes and saw her like I never did before, standing wrapped around my legs. I could feel her hugging me back. I let go of what the picture represented and saw her for the very first time, smiled and said hey you, look how far we came, amazing isn't it! But hang on, that little knock to the ground was nothing compared to what was about to come..........until tomorrow, Pamela

Nocturnal You Say

I found a lovely blog earlier tonight, left a comment way late and was so happy I found them. I realized awhile back I am nocturnal and fought it most of my life. Having to explain myself, my sleep pattern to people. It drove me crazy!

Back then the latest I went to bed when raising the kids was 3 a.m. still getting up in time to send them off to school, and then crawl back in to bed. Yes, husband worked during the day, of course little do they know so do stay at home mom's.

I did manage to get done what was needed for the kids and kept pretty much a clean house. I just always had to explain why I went back to bed and got up after the noon hour. I mean come on who cared anyway! No one was home, yet it seemed to bother those around me, of course, making me miserable. Feeling as though something was terribly wrong with me.

I did this most of my life, then one day I had an Ah ha moment when someone ( I will tell you who in my Getting Real and Raw series) told me I didn't fit the normal everyday person. I mean come on someone has to do jobs at night while others are sleeping. Hello, the world doesn't just shut down! I know, I know, shut up you weren't working or was I? Indeed I was...not only folding laundry, fixing lunches and such, I was enjoying my time crafting and it happened to be at night when all were sleeping. However, that was not the truth, it was what I told myself and everyone else.

The fact of the matter (the person in question) who gave my Ah ha moment many years later hit it right on the nail. Yup! I am a human, but, I am nocturnal. Once this person said, some who are very creative as in sketching and painting tend to find the night relaxing. That Ah ha moment was one of the first personal best things I discovered about myself, a defining moment of no more guilt feelings, no more explaining, to anyone!! I was in control of my own feelings for the first time in my life.

What a relief it was to get that monkey off my back who kept saying "Why do you stay up all night?" Kicked the little sucker to the curb! No more explaining to anyone!!

I am proudly Nocturnal and that's the way it is.........x Pamela

Blogcatalog- Getting Real and Raw

Hey all, I just signed up with Blogcatalog, I heard it's a great place to be.

Welcome to all who read, click and follow along as I am about to expose my life story by GETTING REAL AND RAW.

I have been told so many times over my years of living, those who have been near me seen parts of my life, and those in upstanding postitions telling me to write it down. And, here is where I decided to do it. Hang on as you won't believe the life I have lived! Sometimes I can hardly believe it myself, but here I am a true survivor! A hell of a life to a Happy women who doesn't regret one moment of living it.

I will begin shortly so take your spot on my blog. There's a lot to tell....

Blogging

It's been quite awhile since I have posted, actually, I was trying to decide which way I wanted to take my blog. I've done research found a few helpful things yet nothing of real value, so after a long while of thinking I know what I am to do.

First I am going to start photographing my cupcakes, as I love to bake, you noticed bake not cook. The old saying has always been if you can cook, you can't bake, and visa verse. In fact, I just heard Rachel Ray this season admit she can cook but not bake. I am a proud baker of what most would call junk food, but, boy do I love it! Not to worry I plan on giving you many of my recipes to create some of my cupcakes.

Then I thought I would do something I call "Real to Exposed Raw", my own personal story, from being a young teen who had no idea what I was doing, to being molested by many family members, right down to spending my life pleasing people, finding all the wrong men, to being my mother's only child who seem to have all the accidents in life. To finally finding happiness, and peace, to which I will explain in detail how I got to this point.

There was a time in my life when a judge told me I should be a writer, of course being young, it sort of went in one ear and out the other yet often founding it's place in my memory to remind me. It is quite the truth as we grow from birth to 40ty our minds are all over the place rarely stopping to take in a lesson of the moment before us, generally called mistakes. Now at age 55, my instincts have lead me to apply his advice and to diffidently focus on my mistakes and the moments that teach me the most important things in life. Through my own Raw story I hope I can help someone out there who may be wondering about there own life, looking for an Ah, ha moment as the earlier the wake up call the further in life one will go. It's called a jump start.

For those who are young and pay attention, listen to there elders when they speak, congratulations you understand life at an early age. But, for those of you who look at us and say what do they know there old, your missing out on experience, knowledge and of course wisdom. We didn't get this far without following the same birth to old age just as you. I have learned by listening and watching people those who know it all early in age are just as ignorant as those who don't want to listen to us the older generation. And, yes I was one myself and that's the beauty of me telling you my story.

I will begin tomorrow or when the mood strikes me to post, writing often has it's moments of presenting itself and saying okay it's time to type. Be sure to follow from the beginning it's always the best place to start.

I end this post by saying....be sure to listen to those over 50ty they really do know what is going on all around them.

Daisy Cupcakes and Self Serving Children

I thought I might start this post with a scrumptious dessert loved by everyone cupcakes. Yes, those little round things with frosting, a miniature cake in a round. So tempting and always delicious. This one is devil's food with classic vanilla frosting, made from scratch NOT! Just like most things these days it came in a box with can frosting. Simple eggs, oil, box cake mix and pre-made frosting and you have a mouth watering melt in your mouth chocolate cupcake, these made for me and my children.

Now the point of this post is not the cupcake naturally if it's from a box and can what needs to be explained. No, the point of the post of course has to be the obvious, my lovely, delightful, giving, children. Did I just say all that? You bet, I found myself over the summer conversating with many baby boomer mothers. Talking about none other than our children. It goes something like this....

Excuse me am I in your way? Oh, no not at all you're fine.

Phone vibrates, Oh, excuse me I have a text of course from one of my children.

If they can't find me, or I don't answer they just panic. Really, how many children to you have?
3 how often do you see them, hardly ever but they seem to find time to text. I hate it. Now don't get me wrong they're wonderful kids, WAIT there it is that stupid repetitive line, they're wonderful kids, What the fuck! Wonderful kids exactly what are we talking about? I have to stop for a moment and answer this to my readers, it's crap that's what it is, a guilty feeling hits you because you're complaining about them in one way, we must confirm we didn't raise bad children. So today I said no more, I refuse to ever use that line again. Besides if they are without flaws, which is what that statement may imply then what would they have to learn in life. So continue reading the conversation as it goes like this....

They can't visit but they sure can text. What happen to go old talking on the phone or for that your child visiting. I know she replies I feel the same way.

It's seems the generations today just don't care about there parents, she says.

I hear ya, I reply. It's awful, sure they wanna know if you're dead if they can't get you, but they have no interest while you're living. How convenient a cell phone makes it for them.

Yes, I know, I figure if I end up with Alzheimer's someday my kids will abuse me when I can't remember a thing. I hear ya, she laughs, it's scary to get old knowing your children won't want to take care of you, ending up in a nursing home without a visitor.

The only part of aging I truly hate, I reply. They just assume as you age your getting better. No need to worry until they show up and then it's watch your step, be careful. I say where the hell have you been for the last month. Now your worried, oh right out of sight out of mind.

Sometimes I wondered why I even had them she says, I hear ya, living alone you would think they would check in more often. I hear ya again she replies. My husband died and they still don't visit. Shaking our heads we say, it was nice talking to you have a nice day.

So I say this....what the hell...where has all the human compassion gone? The family unit. The times when people knew there neighbors, helped each other. When I visit my neighbor it's oh, what's up, what do you need, is there something you want. Hello, yes as a matter of fact you idiot it's called a visit.

Of course I understand it even more now, I am a content, happy person, with myself, but it doesn't mean others are the same. I can tell by responses what page someone is on in life and more than none it's on the idiot page. How can I be so critical, I was there once and after all experience leads to knowledge if you pay attention there is a lesson and that my friend leads to self acceptance. If I have been there I can throw stones and believe me I plan on hitting my mark when I do.

In one sentence out of someones mouth, I can immediately tell just how hard and fast I plan on hitting. It's like a Dr. Phil moment when you look at the person and say to yourself how's that working for you or hello am I on some other planet. Each and everyday I am finding the human race more and more self involved right down to my own children and grand children.

Speaking of grand children I have two, babysit them, I think NOT, why? They're like wild animals let loose to do whatever they want to anything they want, when they want. I never thought I would have grand children who have lost they're minds, let alone a child of mine letting them do so.

What the fuck I say to my son, have you lost some part of your brain? No he says I get no help, she's never home working all the time. Well who the hell do you think helped me raise my kids, the mother fairy? As I get looked at like how do I answer this.

Then he looks at his son's and says, if grandma had you for a month you wouldn't be doing what your doing. No shit I say, but, what the hell is wrong with you. Oh, wait let me see cell phones, and video games have lead you to believe children raise themselves. I told my daughter as I told my son directly, I don't think he knows he has any children with the video games. Yes, if I talk about you I am sure not afraid to say it to your face, what's the point of saying it all if you can't.

So in the end what's the solution....time....eventually mother nature, planet earth, the universe and all that other stuff is going to correct itself, it has throughout history unless we start looking around us really looking and taking notice. The troubles and scrambles of the world can only go on for so long before everything hits the fan and change occurs. It happens in people's lives everyday eventually something has to give and things change. So we wait, wait for people to see it first or the universe to step in and change it all. Take us back to simple times when people had to work together help each other. Every catastrophe teaches us that if only we would apply it beyond that moment, wouldn't it be grand!

Now as far as my own children, using the guilt bomb is not my style or for that the way I operate. It's only self serving and that's not me. So this is what I do I'm only there for them if it's a life threatening or a dangerous situation. Other than that it is the fall of my own life and I plan on enjoying it as much as I possible can. What about you?

Oh, and the cupcakes you bet I eat them life is about doing and choices, and I choose cupcakes whenever possible.

Hello again Internet World

OMG! I seem to have forgotten about my blog. Forgotten you say! Yes, in fact I had decided to quit writing on the Internet, yet, hadn't deleted the blog and now I am happy I didn't.



So many things have been going on in my life, some up and some down. I do so love the downs and you're probably all saying What! the downs. Yes, why you say, I love learning and those are the times you learn the most about yourself. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't go looking for them or wish for hard times but life happens everyday and much of it is out of our control. It's the beauty of living.

Like these sunflowers I grew in my garden this year. There is something so magical about these flowers. I believe it's there unusual height and the beautiful yellow's and browns of the flower. Smiles are what they seem to offer and I will take a smile any day.

I've also been doing a bit of redecorating of course on a budget. Being a single baby boomer doesn't leave one much dollars to indulge ones self. Of course, with the economy these days it's not leave much for anyone. My heart goes out to everyone living on a budget, check to check, and some barely at all. I truly hope next year is better. Let's hope the government applies a little more compassion to the common people. I have my own personal opinion of the government but that's another post.

I end this post saying it's good to be back and again I am so happy I didn't delete. I plan on talking more about thinks going on around us that affect how we live and ways we can change it. In the meantime have a wonderful weekend.

Until next post, blessings to all....

WOW! it's been awhile since I have posted

Well, hello again to all...I didn't think it was that long since I have posted, but then again time waits for no one and flies faster than we think possible.

I hope all who read had a wonderful Holiday. Mine was great I couldn't have ask for a better end of the year. But, the biggest thing on my mind was all the people without for those Holidays. I just couldn't seem to get them or the image I had created out of my mind. How can we as human's let or for that allow this to happen?

For my own Holiday the gift I recieved was not what came in a Kohl's box, it was the presence of all my children. my grandbabies and looking at my daughter's first Christmas celebration in her own home. Her meal was incredible, her face priceless, and to be in her presence after so many prior complications was more than I could have wished for...between her and her hubbee Aaron, I felt I was finally home. Home hmmm...it's not a certain place or a building it's being in the heart and if where fortunate it's also in the presence of those who love us. When you have those opportunities soak them in they make you richer than anyone in the world with money and things. When you do that it will humble you heart and soul. So, when am going to the nursing home? LOL I had to add that for a bit of lightness if you know me it's what I do!

Which takes me down this path...my mother passed in 2005, my father in 1986 I will always miss them both it's a given. I get visits in my dreams, visits that are just as important as if they were still here. The last one I recall was about 2 weeks ago, we were sitting in my kitchen here in my apartment. My father was at the chair by the door and my mother was a table length across just as when we did when I was young as we sat to eat. I can't recall exactly the conversation word for word but it was a simple visit, simple conversation a very warm feeling accompanied by a smile when I woke. I was just as grateful for that visit as I would be today if they were alive. The mind is a wonderful tool, it's ability to retain moments and store them when we want to travel back in time. I find it just as wonderful as the heart. Funny, although my father passed she never found anyone again or for that had the desire to do so. For that I alone I hand them a respect I can't begin to describe. In the end my mother passed NOT in a nursing home but in her own home. I couldn't have ask for anything more for the way she left this earth. It was right where she always wanted to be.

I often don't understand or can I wrap my mind around a nursing home when those people who live there have family alive. It's almost like taking a dog to the pound and saying I don't want to do this anymore or for that at all. It's just too much trouble. How can a human be too much trouble? How can any human be too much trouble? I know one thing for sure we are all reminded of this someday, we all grow old it's the travels of being alive. One day we all walk in the same shoes those old worn tattered shoes that we pass to the next generation who then pass them to the next, till we are all but a memory. In the end I believe the most important thing is not whether we lived it's how we lived, did we give our hearts to those we love, did we make sure they knew they were loved no matter how diffucult there life or even the choices they made. Did we listen, process, respond with our hearts without judging. It's truly not what we say it's what we do that really counts.

Here is my secret and truth to a happy life....get to know yourself first! Accept yourself flaws and all it's okay they are yours and that makes them special and unique. Do NOT focus on what others think of you that are not part of your life... it truly doesn't matter to your life. Accept accept yourself for just being a part of this earth this journey. Place your hand on your heart and say these words, I love you. Once you do all this everything else will fall in place. You will find a happy, peaceful, simpilier life ahead.

Happy New Year to all be safe, be happy, have fun, but most of all give love to those important in your life and a hand to all.

Do I ever have a bad day Sure!

As I sit here thinking and writing I wonder if anyone out there is thinking does this woman ever have a bad day? I can honestly say no, but I do have bad moments usually with technology. Lol...Tonight I am sitting here taking deep breathes and picturing my grand babies I spent the evening playing with and trying to relax from a technology situation that only takes common sense (while talking to a representative on the phone) to figure out.

As I always say I am 53 years young, I am able to move with the times can keep up on technology and know the ins and outs of a computer. So much is done today by computer even paying bills on line.

I am one who can hang with the phone prompts that say press this button or enter this number then select from the following next prompt. What I have a problem with is the human I ask to speak with called the representative. If you explain your situation it's always followed by the same darn speech I firmly believe they pass around like notes in high school. How may I help you followed by I apologize for the wait and any for any problems you may be experiencing. I think I might print that on a tee shirt. Which reminds me of those darn lines in the grocery store as the person behind you stands and inspects your body begins to sigh, grunt, and groan as your thinking the same. What is the hold up. Well not me I just flow with the day...but I hear it all the time and speaking of time as we all know it getting shorter and shorter as the world moves faster and faster. Huh, why the hell am I still in menopause if everything else is moving so fast. Wow another spontaneous thought has leaped in...lol Have you ever had someone ask you "where does time go?" I have to laugh how does one answer that without saying how the hell do I know! Wait while I try to contact Freud and find out...I am sitting her laughing again. Laughing for me is probably like a sedative to someone else. I LOVE IT!

I decided I will print a tee saying while you are standing here waiting and inspecting my back side could you please fix anything you notice that is wrong? Oh, and by the way you have a booger in your nose.

So in the end I have come to the conclusion you might as well learn to deal with technology avoiding it only prolongs the obvious and makes you appear old. Keep waiting in line and take time to listen to all those prompts when calling a company and think of this when you do...it's a moment in this fast pace crazy world when you can use those times to relax and simply breath. Save your blood pressure for things that are really worth the higher readings.

Have a wonderful, happy, relaxing day and I can't stress enough find a way to laugh!

The many faces of MY BIRTHDAY!

Yes, the many faces of me consuming an entire cake on my own with the exception of one piece.

It was my birthday August 31st and my grandson's. Yes, my first born grand baby was born on my birthday. It doesn't get any better than that!! Of course I love the way he says our birth date August thirty thirst. Lol...bless his little heart. I couldn't be more blessed in my life. Thru the many ups and downs I am still and will always be so grateful for this life.

Its been 53 years of sheer where the hell did they go! Lol...I had a blast on my birthday. I thought about walking outside nude at the moment I was born if I hadn't been sleeping and if you know me well, I would have done it. I am spontaneous if nothing fun loving and adventurous. My daughter and son's could tell you. One never knows what to expect from me.

So I sat on the floor and ate the rest of the cake within a 36 hour period while watching the Jerry Lewis telethon off and on...I laughed as usual had my son put my grandson on the phone to say happy birthday to him and what does he reply with...I already turned 5 grammie and ran from the phone to play with his toys. I have to tell you something I just did...I have a tooth that has been bothering me lately. I just put clove powder on it and the pain is gone literally gone. I found it on a site while searching and it works! Just a tad of information. They say clove oil is best but this worked too. If you crack a tooth or loose a filling just put it inside or on your gum around the tooth. See you can learn at any age. I wonder if it would work for a teething baby?

Well, I ate the cake and didn't give a darn...it was my birthday so I did what I wanted. I love chocolate I don't know many woman who don't. Clue guys you can never miss with chocolate and for those of you who don't know what romance is I am about to tell you...it starts from the moment you wake up its not so much the things you say its the things you do that she doesn't ask of you. Like doing the dishes, laundry, cooking, put the kids to bed or get them ready for school, surprising her by being spontaneous, taking her out unexpectedly, calling her in the middle of the day just to say I miss you, it's the little things that she does that you don't notice or take for granted. You have to do this and not just one thing come on guys I think you understand. If you can get yourself dressed and off to work you can figure this out. Romance is not groping her or tapping her behind or even sex. All the above leads to sex. A little kindness does go along way. I kinda got off track lol but then that's me!

A BFF brought my cake to me unexpectedly and it was a wonderful gift. CHOCOLATE. My daughter was ill so my birthday has really been delayed for a tad. I guess I really am not 53 after all, not yet according to my children. But for me they are worth the wait always!

No one should ever be without a birthday cake on there birthday. I think about all the children and people in general who may be forgotten and there day and I want to say God Bless you and again if I could have shared my cake with someone who didn't get one on there special day I would have done so no questions ask. So those of you who are reading know this I am sending you a special HAPPY BIRTHDAY from me. Have a wonderful day, a wonderful life and laugh as often as you can!

My cantaloupe!

This was so delicious I can't begin to tell you how sweet and juicy it was....I didn't get many out of the garden as these are very hard to grow. They are so prone to fungus. I wanted to sneak it in so you could see all my wonderful organic veggies.

Tons of Tomatoes!

Here is a picture of the tomatoes I have gotten out of my organic garden. I planted a variety from better boy to early girls, cherry, etc. As you can tell there are many sizes but all taste so yummy. There is nothing like homegrown tomatoes. The taste again is so much better than the store bought. I think I have about 12 tomato plants growing with all producing just wonderfully. I have frozen some for winter stews and soups. Tomatoes thaw mushy so you can't slice them or put them in salads. I also plan on making sauces to freeze. I have done the water bath method and the canning however freezing is easier and less time consuming. To freeze them I wash them in my hand one by one with running water then I blot them dry with a towel. I then slice off the top and any bruises or blemishes cut them in quarter use my vacuum packaging machine label them then put them in the freezer. They will last 6 months. I have a lot of tomato season to go so I will have a good supply for winter and don't forget you can also freeze green tomatoes. Process as above only slice in thin layers do not quarter. Take each green tomato slice dip each side in cornmeal lay on a flat pan and freeze. Once frozen store by layering one on top the other leaving a 1/2 space in plastic container or freezer bag and you can use a vacuum sealer. I love my sealer it's so easy and wonderful for vacuum sealing which makes food last longer. I also have frozen many snap beans from my garden.

Now I am waiting for my fall garden. Currently I have planted a row of peas, green beans, butterhead lettuce, carrots and beets. With everything I have learned I am looking forward to next spring. I plan on adding strawberries to the mix. Before I close for the night I have to say I never knew how important bee's were to the production of our food till I planted a garden. In order for watermelon, cantaloupe, squash, cucumbers and more to produce a good crop bee's must pollenate each flower that blooms on the stems. So the next time you see a bee or it lands near you think twice before you swat the insect that feeds you. It's amazing what you learn about life when you least expect it. Keep learning it truly is fuel for the brain. Till next time blessings to all and remember to offer a smile to everyone you pass today even if they don't smile back you did a good thing. Knowing that is all that matters. :0)

My first Homegrown Organic Cantaloupe!

Well it took a bit of time but I finally grew my first organic homegrown cantaloupe. It smells absolutely amazing compared to store bought. It's not one of the larger melons it weighs 2 lbs 11 oz. but the size is actually due to the lack of rain. Cantaloupes are very hard to grown. They are susceptible to so many diseases and they like being watered using a drip method. They also have to be raised off the ground with a can or a flat rock so they don't rot while growing. I did not know how sensitive cantaloupes really were until I grew them. I lost about 5 plants in the process each had a softball size melon attached but I still have about 10 melons growing. What I really found fascinating when they mature they just detach from the stem. Unlike watermelon they let you know when they're ripe. I will be digging into this little guy this weekend.

Watermelon Yum!

My baby...yup a watermelon. LOL! I am currently gently caring for 13 baby watermelon. I have one that is the size of a small child's basket ball. These are organic crimson sweet watermelon. They get to be about 20 to 25 lbs at largest. The key is picking them at just the right time and keeping them free of weeds. It takes a lot of care to plant an organic garden. Keeping up with the weeds is the hardest task and chasing away any unwanted predators. I get such a kick out of all the insects I have seen in just one summer garden. I enjoy it all. No personal accomplishment with your hands is better than planting your own garden...caring for it and eating the rewards. It is truly a inspirational, spiritual, self esteem charging process I have embraced with all of my being.

When you have an organic garden it's important to keep the weeds at bay. Especially around watermelon, cantaloupe, and green beans/peas. Keeping any weeds at bay is highly recommended but very important to certain veggies. The key to picking a watermelon is the underside, it should be yellow where it lays on the ground. Picking too soon renders a blah watermelon and picking too late renders a sour one. The tentacles the curly little guys on the branches will also turn brown when the watermelon is ready. But when you taste this home grown guy you will look at store bought so differently.

If I could share or feed every starving human in the world I would do so with no questions and a humble heart. I would like to take a moment and Bless those without may they find the helping hand they need to survive. The next time you bite into anything remember those without, your heart will thank you by growing humble and as it grows you will find yourself stretching your hand where needed. Have an awesome day and smile at anyone even if they think your nuts or they don't respond, it feels good just to know you did. Blessings to all creatures and every human in which I share this world.

Garden Update

It's been awhile since I updated my blog concerning my organic garden. I can't believe how fast the summer has gone by and now my winter garden is planted. Children have no sense of time which is why days just seem to go on and on. I truly believe it is the key to making your life longer. Just imagine if we weren't aware of time. If time didn't matter than age wouldn't matter and the world would not care so much about aging...Maybe! Here is something else I found to be true. When I was young I use to make sure I looked presentable when I went out almost always worried about who would be watching. NOT anymore in fact not for quite awhile and I LOVE it. Now I am not saying I don't bathe or brush my teeth that is common sense. I just don't apply the makeup as much or for that hardly ever now and you know what I discovered? Most of the population is the common people everyday ordinary workers, walkers of life. I am treated fair better now than ever before. I believe it all has to do with keeping my appearance natural. By doing so I am just an average everyday walker of life threatening no one. I interact with everyone I pass or stand in line with even if its a simple smile and hello.

I remember when I was younger woman would stare, men would gaze, and I would be amazed. I certainly didn't understand. I was no picture perfect beauty but some seem to think so. My mistake was dressing the way people perceived me. Wrong! I had to look as though I came off a run way or was polished by the hair patrol when in fact inside I was actual just a simple soul that needed nothing other than simple surrounds, necessities, laughter and love. So many saw me as high maintenance. Wrong again and they would be shocked when they found out who I actually was has a person. Humble, practical, simple, intelligent, giving and loving. What does this have to do with gardening? Not a damn thing LOL!

So the tomatoes are awesome in flavor. It is no wonder people love home grown veggies. The lettuce has pasted it is a cool veggie. I did plant more for fall. I did however find a gentleman on one of my tomato plants, don't get excited it wasn't a man it was a tomato worm. I will post a picture later. He was enormous and ate quite well off of one plant. They are so hard to see they blend right in with the green of the tomato plant. The tomatoes I am picking are just awesome in flavor and I planted just about every species possible. Next year plant tomatoes even if they are in planter you won't be sorry you did.

My Grandbabies

I have two beautiful grandson's that I absolutely adore. I went to visit Friday night and had a blast. Although by the time I leave I am just totally exhausted it is well worth it. I wouldn't miss one chance to spend quality time with them for anything.

Brennan is 4 almost 5 the end of this month. Brennan and I share a birthday together... what could be more wonderful than to have your grandson born on your birthday. I just love the way he says August 31. He says August thirty thirst. To hear him say that is a moment to Cherish. It makes my day and leaves a lasting smile in my heart. This little one love video games, is so incredible intelligent I am always in aw. I know being a grammie I tend to be bias but this statement is so true. He well surpasses most 5 year old.

Then there is Owen 17 months of pure gooey, mushy, sensitive, lovable, hugable, clingable love. I use sign language with him as much as possible to help him communicate the words his hasn't found yet. When I tell him no I sign the word and for the first time he signed it back as he said Hey No. LOL! Another lasting smile to my heart. Although they are both very sensitive personalities Owen is the one who loves to be held will sit in front of you when you watch TV and make sure your arms are wrapped around him. He will sit there as long as I do.

I always bathe them when I visit...I put them in the sink the way I did with my children and let them splash away. Brennan is tiny for 5 so he fits just fine. Owen always slides around the sink like a fish out of water. It's a picture perfect moment. Water goes everywhere and I say who cares it's the moment that matters a mess can always be cleaned but there moment is one that only last for the time your there. It can't be replaced once it's over that moment is gone. These are the moments with my own children and grand babies I cherish in my life. Every word spoken, every position they create and every look they give is worth stopping your world to enjoy. My wish for the people of the world is to notice these moments, embrace them and never pass one by for anything or anyone. If you can do this you are truly living life as it's meant to be. I also chase them, watch cartoons always asking questions to let them know I am interested in everything they do.

By chance I meant a man at the grocery store, his name I can't recall...I could only recall the statement he made that sadden my heart. A married man who struck up a casual conversation with no intent other than to talk to another human being. As we exchanged words I learned so much even in his appearance. Tall, gray hair, mid forties, well polished with cologne. I knew just from his appearance what it meant. I knew he had a position in life that made him money. I ask he confirmed...a corporate attorney, once prosecuting attorney. He expressed how much he loved being a prosecutor so I ask why corporate? He answered with this...I have children. I returned with...and how much money do you think your children need? He just grinned. Then I said, "have you ask your children it that is what they really want or do you think they might want more time with you?" Again he grinned and shrugged his shoulders and we went our separate ways. My only hope is that he though about the question I had ask and then applied it to his children.

In my experience with children I understand they ask for a lot of things but in the end if we would ask them what they really want from a mommy or daddy they will say time and love. Offering money and material things does not build character it only creates an empty, insecure, lost child, a child who has no idea who they are in this world and the only thing that defines who are then becomes things that lead to many more things. I am saddened that in this World we have created today, time is limited, both parents are working barely making ends meant causing verbal confrontations which our children absorb like sponges. This is what corporate and government has created for our children today. It's no wonder the children today our lost, disrespectful, unruly, who is left there to discipline. We can't always place blame on the children.

Speak out for the children...listen to your children...spend time with your children...find the time always, tell them you love the always and this will give them more than you know. Children cling and look forward to those who acknowledge them and I don't know about you...but that makes my heart feel wonderful! To my own children and grandchildren I love you always, always.

I also have a new blog which can help you understand more about your children, spouse, etc. Simply go to http://www.gotcha-personalityreadings.blogspot.com/

This is a salad from my organic veggie garden. I add black olives, mushrooms, tomatoes, cheese, salmon. Then I top it with OVOO with vinegar, and seasoning. Shake it up and there is my salad. It is just wonderful. The lettuce, romaine, carrots, tomatoes are all out of my garden. Sometimes I top it with my snap green beans. An organic salad taste so much fresher and the taste itself is so different from store bought or even eating at a resturant. This salad was all veggie no salmon.

And now the final product! This turned out so awesome. I delivered it to my daughter who just moved into a gorgeous home with her hubby...a marine who served three terms in Iraq. I admired her for standing strong and by his side while he was in Iraq, I don't know if I could have been as calm as she appeared and sounded...I also want to thank my son in law for inlisting and going to Iraq with such courage. He made me realize exactly what a band of brothers meant. I came to understand no matter what we might feel about the United States his choice and there commitment to each other is truly remarkable....Thank you to my son in law and every other soldier that braves the land of the Middle East. Bless all who loose their lives both military and civilian... For the military who remain God Bless all I hope you come home soon safe and sound. So my daughter said she ate two slices when I left last night and loved it. If you'd like to make this cake or want to order one just email and I can give you information. I also make children's birthday cakes like spiderman, sesame street characters, etc.

I used canned frosting for this project...and I also ate the slice that leveled off the bottom. Of course I frosted the slice first. Who can cook chocolate without eating it? Wow...it was definitely an aw moment when I bite into the slice. I applied the frosting with a spoon dabbing it on the entire top. Then I took the spoon and evened it out. After that I took the same spoon started at the top and followed the swirls. Topped it with large candy dots and sprinkles.